Monday, 24 March 2008
Ha ha ha.
I've just been informed that my exclusive revelation here that Caroline Mattress is not actually broadcasting from the Ross Revenge, but is holding family captive in order that presenters are forced to pretend they are broadcasting from the Ross Revenge has been taken so seriously by Caroline Mattress anoraks that they are contacting the station in order to clarify whether or not the Ross Revenge really is in use. Worried groups are huddled together reporting back to each other that presenters are confirming they are indeed on the Ross Revenge and not in the regular bedroom studio.
Well, of course terrified presenters are quite naturally confirming that the Ross Revenge is being used even though anoraks are not allowed near it. They don't want unspeakable things to happen to their family, do they? Why else would they go along with the story?
Highly investigative Caroline Mattress anoraks have even started to analyse the output and are reporting that it sounds different to the normal bedroom studio output. As in, there's a different ambient noise when the microphones are being used. As we all know, this noise is a fake looped recording that presenters are required to fade up whenever their microphone is live, yet it's managing to convince these gullible folk that all actually is coming from the Ross Revenge as it's being portrayed.
So distressed and confused are Caroline Mattress anoraks that even Peter Moore has had to cut short his star appearance on Neil Gate's messageboard where he's trying to vilify Neil's project, to quickly pen a missive about how terrible Christopher England is for saying such a thing about the pretend programming from the Ross Revenge. He rants and raves and says nasty things about Christopher England, making his usual cruel and personal attacks. Such a bitter fellow. I don't get that reaction from the people who own other radio stations I regularly take the piss out of, just him. Makes you stop to think why, dunnit. I can only assume that his attack is because he's worried that anything I may have said might affect his coffers and any current drive to squeeze more cash out of anoraks. But, hey, maybe there's some other darker reason.
Anyway, seriously, what really worries me about these very angry Caroline Mattress anoraks is that they actually kick off screaming and shouting and ranting about such a witty revelation in the first place. What is wrong with these people?
What on earth does this say about their actual mental state? They've obviously had a sense of humour by-pass, and must have people running rings around them on April Fool's Day without them having the slightest clue what's going on as they are made to look extremely stupid whilst everybody laughs at them behind their back. Can you imagine life in their households? They must be the most boring and dull folk ever. No wonder their wives are usually out having affairs and their children hate them. Imagine dying and finding out that life after death is to have to be one of them! Jeez.
Later today I'll be with the team that storms the holding cells, and, like the Animal Liberation Front with animals, we'll be liberating the families of those presenters who are being forced to pretend they are on the Ross Revenge. Watch for live footage on Caroline TV. Which Caroline TV you may ask? Like the radio stations with that name, there are so many aren't there. I can't work out which is which.
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* Christopher England just said that *
Chris, some of the constant moaning about caroline is a bit like a joke being repeated a hundred times, it becomes boring, your negativity about them sounds now very bitter and really a bit sad. If you don't like it why waste time on it, you are not going to change anything, The team on the RR have done well, I hope they repeat the exercise again soon. Caroline Matress etc is that tired old joke give it a rest and move on
Chris
You must have too much time on your hands to write such a complicated bout of humour on a BH weekend – Isn't London Zoo open this weekend?
What a bout some facts for a change?? Of the currrent 8 Caroline net streams – the top 2 are of the 44th Birthday Easter Broadcast and two of the International streams sit at ZERO. Think the listeners are voting with their ears!
I've been informed that Aunt is careful about people making recordings of their programmes which is probably the reason I seem unable to record the Wolfman documentary onto either my HDD or a CD.
Any way round this from the brain trust here?
Thanks.
Phil
Transmitters 'R' Us
http://www.transmittersrus.com
Quoting a previous steve boyer contribution:-
Chris, some of the constant moaning about caroline is a bit like a joke
being repeated a hundred times, it becomes boring, your negativity about
them sounds now very bitter and really a bit sad.
Would you say this was the case regardless of which radio station I decide to lampoon, or do you believe that it is only Caroline Mattress I should not be allowed to lampoon and should be censored over?
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* Christopher England just said that *
Quoting a previous Raydio Freak contribution:-
Chris
You must have too much time on your hands to write such a complicated
bout of humour on a BH weekend
Well, yes, its Easter and I've had to let my people have the time off, so I'm bored. I'd much prefer to be out there doing my regular job of standing outside the GCap building with a large placard saying which way to go for the 'Golf Sale'.
– Isn't London Zoo open this weekend?
You want me in a cage or standing outside watching? If the price is right, I can do either. :)
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* Christopher England just said that *
Quoting a previous Hans . contribution:-
Peter 'Moore' made just one mistake, he talked about one of your posts.
I think that if you both stopped reading each others postings it would
be better for all of us.
It'll only stop when one of us dies. Then you'll miss the dead person.
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* Christopher England just said that *
Quoting a previous phil phil contribution:-
I've been informed that Aunt is careful about people making recordings
of their programmes which is probably the reason I seem unable to record
the Wolfman documentary onto either my HDD or a CD.Any way round this from the brain trust here?
If you have a copy of Abode Audition or the like installed on your machine, just set it to record 'What you Hear' or similar, press record, and then re-play the programme via the BBC's iPlayer. Not that I'm suggesting you do such a thing, but I'm guessing that would provide you with a high quality audio copy for personal use only.
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* Christopher England just said that *
Christopher England <...> said:
What about daytime Radio 1? Or maybe daytime XFM? I heard XFM on
Saturday for a few hours and thought it was well-listenable to.
* Christopher England just said that *
Radio 1 has never done it for me, and now I think it is for a younger audience than me. I enjoy XFM musically and some of the presenters are OK, they somehow don't have the"edge or enjoyment" of some the old North Sea Pirates. May be it is they are too safe and secure in their London studios.
On saying about the "safety of London" I now going to contradict my self – I enjoy the presentation of James O'Brien and Nick Ferrari on LBC. They really sound like they are having fun. THATS IT! why not start a station that mixes LBC with XFM (no not LXBFMC !) but a station of both Music AND Chat at different times of the day with presenters that ENJOY what they are doing. So how about it Chris, do you think it would work?
Sorry Chris, but I have enjoyed this weekends programmes from the Ross Revenge. I know that you and Peter dislike each other, but I think that you are man enough to admit that for once Peter has "done good" Even Hitler admired some of Churchills battle plans, so you won't be struck down for having to admit that PM "got it right", even if it is begrudgingly!
Quoting a previous Terry Williams contribution:-
Sorry Chris, but I have enjoyed this weekends programmes from the Ross
Revenge.
Good for you. I'm glad you were able to find a tribute station doing something you wanted to hear.
I know that you and Peter dislike each other, but I think that
you are man enough to admit that for once Peter has "done good"
I'm not sure how to measure the success, though. If the plan was to make a hundred or so anoraks happy, then, yep, that seems to have been achieved. No problem admitting that.
Mind you, you'd have to admit that I never actually said anything to the contrary, did I?
All I said was that it's all pretend; they ain't really on the Ross Revenge but tucked up safely in the bedroom studio with their families held captive to force them to pretend they're on the Ross. Yet, for some reason that gets translated by the senile into me having done all kinds of dissing of the whole concept or output, which I ain't mentioned at all, have I? I've not listened, cos I don't like oldies, so I've no idea what the output's been like as a consumer, and can make no comment one way or t'other.
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* Christopher England just said that *
Quoting a previous Terry Williams contribution:-
Radio 1 has never done it for me, and now I think it is for a younger
audience than me.
I think it depends greatly on what you want musically. There are whole ghettos of music genres I just don't get, and ghettos I love. Yet, daytime being a sample of everything, but with disconnected talkie bits, seems like a good option if you are looking to get away from the same 300 oldies being rotated on almost every other allegedly 'current music' station on FM / DAB. More ideally, for my personal choice, I'd maybe either cut back slightly on the daytime talkie bits (on Radio 1), or maybe change the range of topics being talked about. But, probably it is 'on target' for the intended audience and the type of shit da yoof chat about.
I enjoy XFM musically and some of the presenters are
OK, they somehow don't have the"edge or enjoyment" of some the old North
Sea Pirates. May be it is they are too safe and secure in their London
studios.
It's more about what they are actually allowed to do and say, and when they are allowed to do and say it. The commercial sector has far too much dumbing down and control over 'personalities' implemented by the Programmers. These people need to be rounded up and terminated.
The only other issue I have with XFM is that musically it's a bit too leftfield too much and ignores most of the dance genres. This isn't the case with Radio 1 daytime, which trawls the best of rock and dance. So, maybe an idea station would be 60% Radio 1 and 40% XFM, or something like that.
On saying about the "safety of London" I now going to contradict my self
– I enjoy the presentation of James O'Brien and Nick Ferrari on LBC.
Personally, I'm addicted to Nick Abbot when it comes to LBC. Horses for courses, but James O'Brien for me just seems stuck up his own rather narrow bottom. I do like Nick Ferrari, but it's like listening to a butterfly never really landing long enough on any one point in order to properly develop it. I do love his being outraged bits or his warm and tender caring bits. Very well choreographed is his show. He's got more voices than Margaret Thatcher.
a station of both
Music AND Chat at different times of the day with presenters that ENJOY
what they are doing. So how about it Chris, do you think it would work?
Well, I've always liked the format of fun music and fun chat in one particular show (sort of like Radios 1 or 2), and not liked it when the chat has got a bit up itself (sort of like 6Music). The radio of yesteryear that people grew up on was always music and chat. It was never non-stop music, nor was it non-stop chat. Effectively it's not there any more, so it's maybe time it was brought back on the commercial sector. I think my favourite style is that of Scott Mills on Radio 1. There's lots of music, and quite a bit of fun chatter, and he actually 'jocks' the music instead of it being something that's left to play as if it smells and the presenter mustn't be part of it. You get to feel you are part of an entire fun experience.
Even Radio Jackie does this thing of being frightened of the music and never jocking it, just leaving it 'over there' away from the presenter as if it is dog pooh. Maybe it's because they all hate oldies. Oldies are indeed dog pooh!
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* Christopher England just said that *
Thanks Chris.
I'm currently downloading Audition to give it a try.
Phil
I have the same discussion about football clubs...Is Aldershot the same
team that went broke and out of the league? Is Accrington Stanley
anything to do with the club that folded in 1962? And most contentiously
is AFC Wimbledon the real Wimbledon.Ted
Thank you to everyone that replied to my question (even if did wander off topic a bit). Yes Ted, I really do not think there is a definate answer. It really is down to a personal perception. Regards
Andrew
Chris,
OK, I've downloaded the trial edition of Audition.
How do I go about importing the BBC's Windows Media Player file playing in the background?
What buttons to press as I seem to have tried them all.
All I can play is audio already on my HDD.
Phil
Quoting a previous phil phil contribution:-
OK, I've downloaded the trial edition of Audition.
How do I go about importing the BBC's Windows Media Player file playing
in the background?What buttons to press as I seem to have tried them all.
All I can play is audio already on my HDD.
Ok, you don't download it as such, you directly record it as it's playing.
Assuming you are using a PC, and assuming it just has the bog standard soundcard, etc., there's usually a little speaker symbol in the tray at the extreme bottom right of your screen. Double clicking on that will get you your Volume Control settings – you'll see a number of different virtual volume faders.
There are two completely different sets of volume controls. One set is for playback, another is for recording. Usually, you immediately see the faders related to 'playback', and can't see the 'recording' ones. Usually, clicking on Options, then Properties will allow you to switch to 'Recording'. Having got to this set, you need to select the fader that is called 'Stereo Mix' or 'What U hear' or something like that, depending on your operating system. Alternatively slowly switch through them all whilst you can hear your source is playing, whilst watching the recording mode of Adobe Audition. It'll start showing you a representation of audio once it can hear it, and hey presto, you have a quick way to record whatever you are listening to.
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* Christopher England just said that *
Interesting concept at Radio 1 for Bank Holiday Monday. They ditched all the 'mainstream' daytime presenters and the general all-purpose 'mainstream' daytime music. They replaced them with the specialist presenters normally on during the evening and overnight, each presenting the specialist interest music they normally play, but doing so during the day.
I don't get this need that radio stations have to provide different programming just because it's a bank holiday. I mean, surely, with the potential that there might be brand new audiences awaiting who can't normally listen at work, etc., surely a radio station should be on its best behaviour and show folk what they are missing, or indeed entice regulars to listen for longer. But no, it's a day off, so let's effectively switch the radio station off. Mad.
And 3 hours of Westwood sounding more like somebody taking the mick out of Westwood was just too heavy for afternoon listening.
No Parfitt, no. Wrong, wrong, wrong. But, hey, kudos for daring to be different, mate.
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* Christopher England just said that *
Christopher England <...> said:
Quoting a previous Anthony Cant contribution:-"Please do not attempt to visit Ross Revenge this Easter. We hope to
move the ship to a more accessible location soon and look forward to
seeing you then"Here's a conspiracy theory: 'They' don't want you near the Ross Revenge
'cos 'they' don't want you to discover that the special programmes
'they' are pretending are coming from the ship are actually coming from
the far more comfortable regular bedroom studio. Anybody daring to
visit would suss that the squatters weren't anywhere near the ship.
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* Christopher England just said that *
Yawn
These boards used to be interesting to read, but this sort of rubbish is just dragging the place down IMO.
